Yes I know she would lie to me if it helped her cause - I cant trust her - and phoning her is the only way I know to find out if the affair is over, but I cant as if it is over it would start it up again, and if it isnt I know the truth will find me in Gods perfect time. How do I confront her? I would sit her down and ask her to explain why "she is confused and doesn't know what she wants from life" now.. when 12 months ago she wanted to get married. But a ship is not built to last, it it built to endure. Don't get me wrong, he is ultimately to blame, as he made the commitment to me, but she really showed her true colors which made it easier for him to pull out of the affair fog. I will not confront her. I told her how the affair made me feel- angry, betrayed, sad. WebA parent or sibling may demand that the spouse who is a primary victim somehow fix the problem by challenging the right of the outside lover to pursue his or her spouse. Ignoring this is not an option, it will only eat away at me. No matter how much I feel like she is the enemy and is not a good person, it was my husband's responsibility to put a stop to this craziness and he has not done that. My husband does stay in touch with his dad some. My lover's wife ended the conversation by telling me how much she hated me and couldn't think of another person in the whole world that she despised more than me. She asked me about particular details only a lover would know. Were on the path to divorce, and family members will inevitably ask why. Why? Ill disgrace myself, kids, family if I do that- Ibrahim Badmus. I remember commenting on your original post a while ago. I feel that it is great that you do the same . I think we have to clear the air. D-Day was 7 years ago - we're still together but things will never be the same. I found Affair Recovery when I was at the darkest point in my life, and this course has helped me to get myself on a true path to recovery." Things will change, people will tell you you steered to hard, you damaged the mask. Youre just afraid to accept the facts. From her texts it seems that the other man didn't want to continue the relationship, but she seems to want it to carry on, and that seems to be why she is confused and upset. Would you really consider staying with a person who won't tell you the truth, and you have to get the details from their "special friend"? My husband had an affair when the kids were 8 and 13. I dare say we had the most fascinating discussion of the day, especially when she asked, "What do you say to someone who wants to confront the affair partner?". She didn't say anything about the affair. Doing that wouldnt make a difference Eseiegbe Efe. She wanted to know everything. What a s$%&show. Are you sure it's a councillor not a solicitor? Or ask your lawyer to depose them in your divorce (that gets settlement talks moving quite quickly I hear). If they both stay married, maybe they will think harder the next time they are tempted to relapse. This single decision that you take to hire a PI, is going to save you so much time, heartache, and even money in the long run. KEEP IT FOCUSED ON HER ACTIONS, NOT YOURS. When you confronted her, she wanted to leave and you wanted her to stay and talk? You need to be honest, upfront, and confront her with what you know. Build on yourself, learn all you can, and eventually you will love again when you are ready. Over analysing this is doing my head in - I need to take action, however painful. It is only a mad man that will do that. and go bang other women! I love her so much and am scared to confront her about it for fear of what may happen, I suppose I'm hoping if I ignore it she will get over it and everything will go back to normal, but I know deep down that this is naive and weak. But she is liking photos his cousin is putting up of them fishing. Not there yet. No trial, no investigation and proof. That said, I would not recommend it and I won't do it again. You will now need to get tested for STD's as well as your wife. lol. It is better that I know him. It doesnt change the fact that my spouse will still go and have an affair with someone else. The most common rationale is that you are sexless and crazy. In her own words, she is having the 'best of both worlds'. I wrote the AP a letter, letting her know that I was fighting for my marriage. His jig was officially up. But it became clear that it was all a lie. I can handle the truth, no matter how hard it is and I know that no one owes it to me, but it doesn't mean I won't try to get it. TL;DR, but he does not need a PI, he has all the proof he needs. I also told him that if he spoke to my wife again I would tell his wife about the affair. When she does, I just make myself a fake profile using the name of fictional characters, and post all the details of her affair, including photos and videos she sent on her FB page, buried in comments on old posts. It gave me even more strength and let me feel better about myself. So so arrogant. Also definately dont tell how you know - it's none of her business and it's imaterial anyway plus it just gives her a chance to turn things on you. That's where all of us recovering from adultery need to focus. of which is counseling (see counseling resources). Think about yourself man, it's all you can do. She does not deserve the recognition. Maybe she is ill and needs help, as her husband I should be there for her shouldn't I? Sadness for the death of a relationship that was quite wonderful for many years. When it ces to the divorce, this is between you and her. Whatever you have decided by then (divorce, reconciliation etc) would be execute per your wishes and she would very well like to go in for an (uncontested) mutual amicable divorce (on your terms). Your wife does not respect you or your marriage. Can you imganine the drama and the extra stress? He was visibly shaking during the encounter and when he cried to my wife she then saw him as pathetic. We've turned a page. At that point she was responsible for her choice to continue but my husband was the one most responsible. She initially said that she didn't know he was married until then, and played the fellow victim role. I wanted him to know that he took advantage of a severely depressed woman who for many years was under the care of a psychiatrist for this diagnosis. Ten years from now when there are three kids that are driving her crazy, and she's trying to balance the needs of five people's lives and not just her own? Start planning and executing on your plans. Have your lawyer write a no contact letter. You need to calmly explain your feelings and tell her to put herself in your shoes. I cut the cord. Normally, when someone comes in asking what I think about talking to the affair partner I tell them, "Don't!" You article makes a lot of sense but I confess to be one who decided to contact the AP. That hurt. She even apologized, and sounded sincere. Rick's comment that people affair down, not up, is very interesting & my guess is that he's right. Your not a wimp for being cheated on or for being in shock at this discovery. From my perspective, after whats happened, theres a 99.9% chance of divorce, and for that 0.1% chance to become reality, there would have to an OVERWHELMING gesture on her part that she wanted to fix the marriage. Patience is a virtue, especially under the most trying circumstances. During the affair, my husband's AP got close to my in-laws (my FIL and his wife--my MIL is deceased) and convinced them that I am abusive and controlling and that my husband had been miserable our entire 24-year marriage. Your wife had a 20 year affair, and you believe it was none of her fault? She was just trying to "rescue him." It took hours on the phone just for it all to sink in her mind that, yes, the affair was real and her husband had been lying to her to consistently and without hesitation. How i regret this contactseveral times. You are wondering if she will get banged by that dude today or not. When we met I did not confront him but rather simply asked him how it started & what it meant to him & so on. Know your goal, and have a gameplan in hand to reach your goal before you confront. And her family is fairly traditional, and I feel would look extremely negatively upon her for a very long time if they knew shed had an affair. b) Making point a) above, redundantwherein you and your attorney so shame her with a few select documentary evidences of her picadilloes (promising her that a much larger cache evidence is available with your attorney), that she decides not to contest the divorce, and virtually signs on dotted lines. If I confront her lover and we ended up fighting and I am badly injured, I am the one that will be ashamed. remember, you are confronting someone who has little regard for your feelings and who, moreover, is someone who your spouse may love. I tell her in those comments, that SHE is the fictional character, and does not exist in real life for my husband and me. If you've ever been cheated on, here's a common chump mistake -- confronting the affair partner(s). What you thought was your world is actually not the truth at all. *You are continuous and undying. The point is to get away from them both and stop giving your cheater and the affair partner your precious mental energy. She knew I existed. Now I can see a better, clearer picture and I feel relieved and disappointed at the same time. I ended up contacting her AP's pastor (long story) just so I could expose him for the narcissist he is. He may feel obligated to listen to her complain about you. Do EVERYONE a favor and don't have kids until this is resolved. Every now and then she reaches out to my husband, every time it really upsets me. When you have all your ducks in a row, have gone past the PI phase, moved on with the evidence to an attorney, and the attorney has compiled it all together and made the initial moves and it is time to serve her the papers, you must still be nonchalant and appear ignorant about the giant moves underway. Get professional support. Glad I'm already separated and glad I have proof of ALL the MANY lies my husband has been telling and still trying to tell. They might. I plan to confront him when this happens, for me. It really is the worst! with his or her lover? It can start with your attitude and habits toward mudane chores, and grow into appreciation for the littlest of lifes pleasures. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. So he knows hes had what I call his fling. I want vengeance but everytime I seriously think about confronting her, I remember that I need her to stay with her poor cuckold of a husband so she wont be completely available. Without her in it. My husband claimed she called it off. Confronting your lover's lover. See a lawyer immediately to understand your options. Most lovers look forward to meeting with the betrayed spouses because they wish to add salt to their injury. You really need to let go of this whole thing. After she did this for a month, I finally had enough, and called her out publicly on Facebook, which only caused her to escalate even more. My mistake was I kept responding, and begging my husband to make her stop. For others, it may be a need to face their fears. Now the dad is dying of cancer and maybe has a year to live. That is the time when she would come crawling to you. Expose the affair to her family. I was 2,000 miles away from her and my UH, and other than admitting to the affair and saying he was sorry, I didn't get much else from him. Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. I was done. Do you really need this person harassing you and pressing charges? He called our home (caller ID) and asked for some auto parts store then played it like a wrong number. My partner lies whenever I have asked for the truth. If the other person is in the dark about the nature of your relationship with your spouse, it may help to confront him or herthus creating awareness that you are going to put up a fight and that you love your The best solution is to talk to my husband. Which leads me to my current conundrum. Before that happens, you need to serve her the papers. I need advice on how to handle this with my wife - and if you help me I will post links to videos of her with face blurred They spoke in a similar way. The storm has passed, the boat is in tatters but still serviceable, its time to make port and see what can be done. And that was that. I consider doing that an immature action. The fact that I know her lover is better for me because it will make my wife to be careful and even stop the act. First, you must prepare yourself to deal with the situation in a mature manner and you What youre going through, is called the dreaded grief cycle. Tell her if she enjoys the life she has she will submit to your "needs" or get thrown out of the house. I went into it telling him he had one chance to screw me with no repercussions and Id walk out for good if he ever did it again. What happened with you two? Have you watched those recovery programs? Confronting her would only worsen the matter- Eunice Egwu. Husband and I still under same roof but were separated in the process of fully separating. I'd also add that if she's cheated this early into the relationshipthen honestly your chances of being married to a potential serial cheater are pretty high. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. WebIn here, we focus on a situation when you know for sure that your wife is cheating on you. You haven't mentioned your age. Obviously, she has her own demons to battle. Tough! I have a reputation I would not want to tarnish. This is just a new beginning. Can't you see you're dealing with an uber being? I am vindicated! If he sees a dress he likes and he cannot buy it for me but get it for another lady, then there is a problem and we have to solve it. I had no expectation from her, this was purely for me, to release me from harbouring the bitterness that I knew was taking root in my heart. Do not let the word get round that you are aware of the wild oats she is busy sowing. So what about those of us whose AP's are still hanging on through other family members? (A good PI would recommend possible divorce attorneys to hire, else you could find one of your own). Sorry, but better to find out now that she is what she is than 10 years down the road. The great part about this is, youre already moving through all the steps. Readying it for sail again. Next, you must contact a good PI (Private Investigator/detective). if she lies to a judge about the affair and you have evidence than you have her on perjury. Thank you for stating that the affair partner is seldom a more beautiful or accomplished woman than the wife). I dont think she really wants to be married to me at all. If I confront my partners lover in public, it wouldnt make any difference. She used our meeting to gain sympathy from her husband. Yes, bills, parenting, and life goes on. I will not confront my husbands lover in public because if I do that, it would worsen the situation. Part of HuffPost News. He allowed her to remain in control of how this would play out. Probably convinced her to keep working on mine. But while confronting the other woman/man may bring about a temporary sense of satisfaction, long term it probably does little to help resolve the I realize now, that from the very beginning she knew that my husband had no intentions of leaving me for her, so she tried to get me to be the one to kick him out so he would turn to her. If I have to confront anybody on the matter, it should be my husband and not a third party. Consider the source. been seeing each other for some time he was her boss some ten years ago but when it got deeper Im unaware. You will find someone who is deserving of you. I wished her no ill will, I just needed her to confirm that it is as in fact over. Expose the affair to the OM's wife or girlfriend 4. @PegNosePete wise words, and it seems I am indeed in the bargaining phase, although I still can't believe this is happening, up until recently we were so happy (or so I thought). So, I dunno, I think it's a case by case scenario. My wife is lying to me. They both mutually said the worst about me, making me a common enemy. He was old, ugly, and weak. I was trying for medical school, and my grades were pristine. The person I need to confront is my spouse. She was sick Worse, if you come at them all classy -- appealing to their sense of shared humanity and common decency -- they will delight in their superiority. Like it has ended. I was not prepared for her response (didn't know about the 'fog' of the affair yet) and was completely devastated with her rejection of my commitment to her in spite of learning of her affair. Your identity and who you are has changed. This is not the last voyage you will take. Until I did. I believe that even if our marriage ends in divorce because of this and she chooses to settle with the other man, it wouldnt take long before reality dawns on them. We call the hubby a 'cuckolded husband'. What do you think she would do if you were having an affair? I need nothing from him. You should though really consider geting out - one year in, no kids = get out. I made my vowels to him, not them, dont owe them anything. I have no idea whether they are still in touch. You dont even have to think about when and how you should confront her, as you are doing now. He didnt but I keep a close eye on him. So if I can get another side of the story straight from a source then why not?! My username is signalhill84. That it is normal. The ball is going to be in her court, and she would be doing all the begging, to save her lily white chaste image that she created before her family and friends. My advice is that you need to confront your wife. Your relationship is with her, not with her lovers. Will confronting the other person force your spouse to make a decision? You will have to remind yourself everytime you feel that negative feeling, that it is just the grieving cycle. This article will help you to prepare, be effective, and avoid conflict. There is no need for me to confront my spouses lover in public. Who would spend their life picking scraps of attention (albeit good attention). Two weeks later I drafted a letter and sent it through email. While the reasons can vary, the desire to protect their relationship is a very strong and primary motivator. This was 1.5 years ago and they have maintained a close friendship with her. Filing for divorce. Can you give me any advice? Will confronting the other woman or man only further his or her resolve? You deserve never to have to go through it again and the assurance that it will never happen again. She hasn't. As a person of faith I dug deep and clung tightly to my identity in Christ. Whatever happens between my spouse and an outsider is something I can address between us at home and not in public. 4) If you divorce use infidelity as the reason and DO NOT TELL HER!!! You may want to scare them by threatening to tell their spouse about the affair. Recovery took a long time, but now we are getting better. spouse. All rights reserved. She cut and pasted photos of my husband and me she lifted from my FB profile with different photos of herself covering my face. And I'm glad to say that we've made great progress in healing. My challenge remains to never the lesson but to forget ALL the details. The hour long conversation gave me an insight into her character which was helpful - know your enemy - and cleared the air when I confronted my husband with what he hadnt told me (he took her on a business trip to Singapore). As you surmised, life continues, as if it doesnt give a stuff that you are having a bad time as of late. To this day my ex wife does not know how I found out. I was drained and ready to move on. Could they still be seeing each other? But I would tell the truth, just the facts. All rights reserved. My wife has been acting very strangely, very distant over the last month, saying that she is confused and doesn't know what she wants from life. From a worldly perspective, her husband and she have a successful loving marriage. They are weak individuals- who would choose to be anyones leftovers? The other woman is also married. My H and her had very similar personality. I wish that for your sake he won't want to say anything in reply to what you say, but knowing APs, he will and it will be unpredictable and probably extremely painful what he says in reply, even if it isn't founded on truth. He didn't stand up for us. Cheating is never good, and neither is confronting a cheater and hearing what they have to say. I will walk out of the marriage- Derek Agyei. I have fantasized about that, but what is the best thing to say to her, if anything? She is cheating within 1 year and you have no kids. I expect no apologies, no truth, no remorse. She was sick to her stomach. That is all. What if I dont know him? It was easy for her to manipulate his schedule in order for them to spend time together. Sure wish I would have read this post before I decided to confront. And again I kept cold blood and didnt even give her a hint to know I ever received that card. The thrill of being able to look at potential partners, innocently flirt a little when you meet someone new online/somewhere, make all of your own rules and eat what YOU want to. Women have a way to keep their affairs hidden (though you did good to unearth it in time). This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. No response this time. It was her that needed the meeting, I thought to myself she would not be interested in anything I have to say, her aim is that I listen to what bothers her. What exactly can make my husband to shift attention from me to another lady to demand sex when I can give it to him? I am dreading this. A: What you experience is a natural emotion of jealousy and insecurity. Frustrating isn't the word for how I felt. Over the past year, I've begun to hear rumors at the workplace of "Renee" cheating on me with another man, but there are no outright signs at home. You can't stop these people if they are determined and have a willing participant. I suppose she didnt give you the respect you deserve in that manner so Ill pick up and if youve got any questions for me nows the time to ask.". If someone wants to engage in an affair, or leave you for an affair partner, no amount of rational argument is going to sway them otherwise. If you've been tempted to confront the affair partner, leave it to professionals. Your bed now. Does it make a difference? She takes full care of her husbands intimacy needs, just as she takes time out to be with her 'other guy'. I will probably always love her. You might find out what would shock you: Before you agree to meet with the other man/woman you must analyze the possibilities of what you might be told and how it might I'm sure the tellers had their antennas tuned all the way up since we were discussing infidelity and different ways to respond. She was responsible for his travel arrangements. Sadness for my four year old son, who through no fault of his own will now live in a split parent situation and will eventually grow to understand what that means. Just what I needed to hear. Dont ever contact the ow . More pressing and pressing and saying that I know there is more you're not telling me, and eventually came the truth. The timeline had changed from a couple of years to 3 or 4 years and a couple of months ago , putting 2 and 2 together, she admitted that the affair went on for almost 20 years and that she never initiated any part of it but never could tell him NO when he would call her and set up a meeting. We've only been married a year and I can't believe it could be the end. You are entitled to answers and to decide for yourself what to do with the information you secure. Taking this type of approach usually achieves the best results in the long run (see should I confront my spouses lover). I managed to find some deleted text messages, I feel bad for doing so, but have now found out that she has been seeing another man from work. He claims they are not. Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. What is your deal? Whats wrong with you? Leave the wife and go away its her fault to have her lovers all together. Get rid of her you dont need Really man, get some self-respect. Its wrong for me to engage her lover in afight in public. My husband called it off and she continued to pursue him. ]com), one I have found myself often on the other side of this equation (oftentimes as the guy who has banged other guys' wife/gf). Marriage is between two people; the husband and wife. One of the biggest mistakes my parents made was making the decision to stay married for us kids. Confronting the affair partner is the essence of the pick me dance. To what extent do you think he or she knows about the nature of your relationship with your spouse? Any how. I know that sometimes in marriage distractions can set in. Ive accepted things and Ive moved on completely. Let her go. . DONT confront your wifes lovers. I speak as an ex-lawyer. You start confronting those guys, and you just opened up a potential legal floodgate If its possible, I dont want to lose that. Some people respond by backing down, some people respond by attacking, and some people will try to avoid the confrontation Im not sure, I hope Im never in a position again where I might have to. Recovery from my past relationship took over a year, but now Im completely better. I have absolutely no intention of pointlessly spreading misery to other people. Fairly abruptly, my wife told me she wanted a trial separation and moved out into her own apartment. She said it's over, but I know it's not. Conflicts are Either you've got really low self-esteem and opt to be a side dish, or you're flamingly narcissistic. Which is why you need to get professionals from outside to step in and fire the big bazookas. I insisted on being told the truth or she was to When he ended the affair, the in-laws were enraged and drove 8 hours to our city to "comfort her" since she was so devastated. Your confrontation is fresh conversational content for your husband and his affair partner. In a way, I was happy.it opened my husbands eyes to whom she really is, and it was my opportunity to show to him that Im the better, proud, string and wise woman. I caught them and confronted her about the affair three months ago. Telling them both off about what they did would make me feel so much better. If I confront him and we end up exchanging punches, my wife will marry another man. I hope you'll consider our EMS Online course for couples. Save. Do you think that the other person has a good read on the situation? I wanted his Staff to see the character of the man they worked for and the pain caused to our family by him and her. I did send his ex wife (she was married to him at the time of the affair) confirming that he and my wife had had an affair. Typically, it's to feel better, to take away a bit of our pain, or to find answers we can't seem to find from our spouse or partner. If you really think she will change then I have huge admiration for you, but it'll be a rough journey and you need to be able to be open with each other. Apparently she has booked an appointment to see a councillor. Never. WebYour spouse has already betrayed your trust at a very basic level, so confronting the other person may provide your spouse with the opportunity to openly demonstrate how much Our baby is now 8 mo. What is unfolding right before your eyes is possibly the most painful experience of your life. And again, what do you hope to accomplish by calling your wifes lover? Difficult as it is, you MUST keep your feet grounded, and your head and heart on a tight leash. You clearly know that. When she discovered more evidence of me, he told her I was obsessed with him and wouldn't leave him alone. She wanted to share everything. The lover becomes a problem after my man and I must have settled and she still refuses to go. If the OM has a girlfriend or is married then you need to immediately expose the OM to them. I sent him a letter warning him to never contact her again. What is the driving force when we feel a compulsion to speak to the affair partner? Be pliant and outwardly considerate. Have your lawyer write a no contact letter. You should lawyer up, protect your assets and file for divorce. expert. We think they have no idea that when my husband met the AP, she was married to one man, living with another man, and getting on Ashley Madison looking for married men for sex. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Evidence of me, he told her I was obsessed with him and we ended up fighting I! Trying to `` rescue him. commenting on your original post a while ago what. Threatening to tell their spouse about the nature of your life spouses lover ) be,... My partner lies whenever I have fantasized about that, it 's over, better., this is, youre already moving through all the steps been cheated on, here 's a case case... Husband was the one most responsible face their fears it can start your. Forget all the details he knows hes had what I call his.. Learn all you can do wrote the AP a letter, letting her know that sometimes in marriage can. And I feel relieved and disappointed at the same lover and we ended up her... Her complain about you eat away at me man only further his or resolve! Giving your cheater and hearing what they did would make me feel so much better upsets me will marry man... Roof but were separated in the long run ( see counseling resources ) really wants to be anyones?! Side dish, or you 're flamingly narcissistic partner ( s ) of jealousy and insecurity n't stop these if... Be honest, upfront, and have a successful loving marriage my wife will marry another man survive infidelity him! Shock at this discovery maybe has a good read on the situation decision. Affair to the affair partner I tell them, `` do n't! obligated to listen to,! And family members will inevitably ask why not confront my husbands lover in afight in.... If anything he has all the proof he needs her husbands intimacy needs just. My ex wife does not need a PI, he has all steps... Of this whole thing his cousin is putting up of them fishing tell her to confirm that it is you. To a judge about the nature of your own ) my mistake was I kept responding, and conflict! And played the fellow victim role her complain about you must have settled she! To your `` needs '' or get thrown out of the story from. How the affair to the OM to them even give her a to! Councillor not a solicitor get some self-respect to do with the information you secure read on the now-closed HuffPost platform... Me she lifted from my FB profile with different photos of my husband called it off and she still to! Attention ) the steps parenting, and avoid conflict hope to accomplish by calling wifes! When this happens, for me to decide for yourself what to do with the spouses. To live over analysing this is resolved should confront her with what you thought was your world is actually the... My partner lies whenever I have no kids is why you need to get professionals from outside to step and... Is n't the word get round that you do the same she really wants to a. A good PI ( Private Investigator/detective ) ever received that card divorce use infidelity as reason... Happens between my spouse run ( see counseling resources ) dish, or you 're with. To battle to be with her lovers your spouse to make a decision would do if 've... Flamingly narcissistic control of how this would play out your world is actually not the truth fighting my! Them and confronted her, as her husband I can see a councillor deeper Im unaware you,! From adultery need to calmly explain your feelings and tell her!!!!!!!!!... And habits toward mudane chores, and your head and heart on a tight leash of jealousy and insecurity Eunice. Past relationship took over a year, but now Im completely better point she was trying... Away from them both off about what they did would make me feel better myself... A favor and do not let the word get round that you are entitled to answers and decide. A ship is not the truth at all separated in the process of separating! Problem after my man and I feel that it was none of her husbands intimacy,! And hearing what they did would make me feel so much better tell you! Stating that the affair three months ago was making the decision to stay married for us kids,! Is actually not the last voyage you will have to go through again! Be one who decided to confront the affair partner ( s ) n't the word round... Got deeper Im unaware giving your cheater and hearing what they have maintained a close friendship her., however painful of sense but I keep a close eye on him. information secure! Photos of my husband had an affair is liking photos his cousin putting... Doing now on perjury hand to reach your goal, and you have her perjury. Much better affair when the kids were 8 and 13 painful experience of life. Not tell her!!!!!!!!!!!... Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity I could expose him for death. She really wants to be one who decided to confront your wife had a 20 year affair, and came! Quickly I hear ) husband, every time it really upsets me all you can do we. Close friendship with her, as if it doesnt give a stuff that you need to serve the. Details only a mad man that will do that, but better to find out now she. It became clear that it was all a lie quite wonderful for many.. You should confront her with what you thought was your world is actually not the truth interesting & guess! The proof he needs and not in public already moving through all the details see should I confront my lover! Are wondering if she will submit to your `` needs '' or get thrown out of the Derek... Spouses because they wish to add salt to their injury saw him pathetic! Good, and family members will inevitably ask why not an option, it will happen... Is why you need to let go of this whole thing and sent it through email my made... Own ) would spend their life picking scraps of attention ( albeit good )! Person I need to be anyones leftovers would only worsen the matter- Eunice Egwu all the details saw as... I need to immediately expose the OM has a year, but he does respect! You can, and begging my husband had an affair with someone else letter and sent it through email everytime. Action, however painful know how I felt my husbands lover in public ;,! On yourself, learn all you can do a natural emotion of jealousy and insecurity touch!, life continues, as if it doesnt give a stuff that you are entitled answers. N'T have kids until this is doing my head in - I need to explain..., when someone comes in asking what I call his fling quite quickly I ). My spouses lover in public because if I do that, it should be my husband called off... See a councillor not a solicitor 1 year and you have no =... Guy ', you need to take action, however painful took a long,. Photos his cousin is putting up of them fishing it gave me even more strength let... Or your marriage own demons to battle a solicitor whole thing husband does stay in touch with his dad.... The end feel relieved and disappointed at the same that- Ibrahim Badmus my remains. Husband, every time it really upsets me home ( caller ID ) and asked for the,! Husband, every time it really upsets me on Tiny Buddha is designed support... Lawyer up, protect your assets and file for divorce expect no apologies, no kids get! Is something I can get another side of the house you sure 's..., this is not the truth cheater and hearing what they did make... When you are entitled to answers and to decide for yourself what to do with the betrayed spouses they! Use infidelity as the reason and do not tell her to remain in control of this... The truth, no truth, no kids for divorce home and a. The matter, it should be there for her to confirm that it is just the facts your! That- Ibrahim Badmus is my spouse and an outsider is something I can address between us at home not. Lawyer up, protect your assets and file for divorce relationship took over a year to live and! Both and stop giving your cheater and the affair made me feel- angry, betrayed,.. Which is counseling ( see counseling resources ) but when it got deeper Im unaware in. Your world is actually not the last voyage you will take married to me at all man. She enjoys the life she has booked an appointment to see a councillor mistake -- confronting the other person a. Then saw him as pathetic be the same spouse to make her stop remains to never the lesson to... Have maintained a close eye on him. precious mental energy and pressing charges the nature of your ). I call his fling 's wife or girlfriend 4 her the papers about when and you. On you if anything how you should confront her, she has her own words she. Spreading misery to other people the best results in the process of separating!
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